Sunday, 13 May 2012

Post Resignation


Day 1 recap - as per my previous post I experienced the following feelings;
  1. Apprehension
  2. Numbness
  3. Unsure, have I made the right decision?
  4. Loss of good stable income
  5. The unknown, what if I fail?
  6. What happens if my studies don’t succeed and I go into a job that I don’t want to do? (Income less, not happy).
Day 2 
I began to feel more at ease with my decision.  A lot of the apprehension that was felt on day 1 had mellowed although not disappeared completely.  Nonetheless it was only a minimal thought and there was a near inner peace with the decision.

Day 3-4
At this stage I was feeling excited about the opportunities that would present itself from skewing off the path which only a week earlier had been clearly defined.  However, there is still cautious optimism because of the need that money is required to support this quest.
Other thoughts and feelings were;
  • Plan to succeed, no matter what the income is-as long as I enjoy it!
  • End of an era for me, and I will miss the people who I have worked with over the years.
  • I will miss the company as well because that is all I know, although in some respects it has also pigeonholed me and now I have broken free from the hold.
  • What will people think when I say that I'm not working and instead am studying?  Loss of 'status' that came from a good position, important work.
  • I am very appreciative of the supportive comments that my colleagues made of my decision.  They are not surprised that I have decided to head into a different direction and believe that it suits me.
  • I will miss the 'influence' of my position, and the respect that I have built up with my colleagues.
A little emotional during the farewell speech, but sucked it up.  I know that I will see a majority of these people again whether in person or on line.  There in a way was a feeling of relief that the last day had now arrived and was closed so that I could now focus my attention on the future.  Lots of drinks with my ex-colleagues after work celebrating the good times, the interesting times, the laughs.  Although to be fair after a alcoholic lunch which led to late night - my memory is a little hazy.

Well I have been accepted into a full time University course to follow my new direction in life.  This is exactly what I want to do and is due to start in two weeks time.  It has been one week since I finished up with the company and I did feel guilty during the first week that I was not working.  I felt that I should be working.  Probably for that matter I kept busy with preparing for study.  I was reading a lot of material to get a start on what I will be learning.  I have also been attending global conferences which support this career direction - so there hasn't really been much rest.  
Of course, it is nice to have the ability to go to the local cafe when the weather is nice to enjoy a latte and not have to be locked into a 9-5 role :).

Monday, 9 April 2012

Goodbye Career, Hello World!

Goodbye Career,Hello World Have you ever thought of quitting your job to see what else you can do in your life? You are not alone!  

Many days and nights I would find myself wondering "is this it?", was I destined to spend the rest of my working life doing the same job for the same company. We only have one life, therefore we should be happy with how we choose to live it.

I am writing this because I have no doubt that there are many people who have similar thoughts and therefore wish to give my story in the hope that others' will share theirs, no matter where along the path they are.

I am 33, just about to hit 34 and have worked for the one employer for the last 12 years. This employer was basically my first employer out of University and college. I can’t say that I ever planned to move into the world of Underwriting. Even when I had to choose a topic to study at Uni and college I really had no idea what I really wanted to do so I picked something that I thought I would be good at, not necessarily something that I would enjoy. I guess, I fell into the job which became a career.

Around the 8th year I felt that my interest had disappeared. I was bored with the job, and frustrated with the lack of opportunities that one experiences when they are not in the Head Office. This made me feel depressed.  I was really over it, so I handed in my resignation to pursue an interest in film making.  My manager however talked me out of it by offering part time work which would allow me the scope to pursue film making whilst still earning an income. I spent 12 months studying, and making a couple of not so good Indie Films. It was good to have the freedom, but I also was realistic that I would not be making an income from film so needed to seek full time work. Nonetheless, it had given me a mental break from the daily grind.

A position came up in another department at work so I took it. I spent two years in a fraud prevention role and then I moved into a newly created senior underwriter role. My motivation to move back into underwriting was not only as a career progression step, but also to help provide a smooth transition into the office for the soon to be appointed underwriting team leader.

Over one year has now passed and whilst the transition was smooth and I have developed a great working relationship with my manager, I was again asking myself in no particular order;

  • “Do I want to stay employed as an Underwriter until retirement age?
  • “What are my real interests?
  • “Can I gain employment in an area that interests me?
  • “How do I get there?”
  • Where do I want to be in the next 5-10 years
  • “What else does the world have that I want to experience?”, and most importantly 
  • “If I leave to re-educate myself, do I have enough funds saved to keep me going? ”
I never planned on when I was going to hand in my resignation, there was always the thought that I could just continue on and go through the motions even if I am bored. The money is good, the people are friendly and I can do the job with my eyes closed.

However, when I woke up to go to work on Monday 27th March, I made the decision – if I want change I must act. So I drove into work thinking “just do it!”. Over a morning coffee with my manager I advised him of my decision to resign.

After advising my manager of the decision to resign I had the following thoughts and feelings on the first day;
  1. Apprehension
  2. Numbness
  3. Unsure, have I made the right decision?
  4. Loss of good stable income
  5. The unknown, what if I fail?
  6. What happens if my studies don’t succeed and I go into a job that I don’t want to do? (Income less, not happy). 
To put an end to a successful career for the unknown is very difficult, and whilst I am very anxious and excited to see where the path takes me - there still sits a sense of loss.  A loss of identity, and a loss of belonging I guess.  I know however, that no matter where the path takes me - I will never look back wondering “what if?”

It would be great to hear about your experiences and thoughts so feel free to comment and share with everyone.

As I put one foot forward after another on this new path I will keep you updated with where the journey takes me.

An interesting blog that I came across while writing this 16 Signs It's Time to Quit Your Job